Heaven

Recently, I am learning that the "stupider" I am, the more likely I am to get into heaven. Let me prove it to you.

Starting with Genesis. Let's face it, to agree that the entire Bible is true means that you have to also believe in the Creation story. You have to believe it on faith and reject the seemingly logical science of "evolution." This alone would make any college-educated average moron (who probably has never read the Bible nor studied real boolean logic) tell you that you are an idiot. (They would totally discount that statistically speaking, the creation story is more plausible than evolution.)

Ending with Revelation. Again, if you are to proclaim that the entire Bible is true, every word is the inspired word of God, then you cannot shirk away from this awesome book of fantastic imageries, ultimate doom of evil and the final triumph of good. However, if you were to ever proclaim that we are in the end times, the intellectuals will mock you as Chicken Little or treat you like a zealot with a few screws loose. They will relegate you to the class of tabloid fodder. (Of course, let’s not study the statistical miracle of fulfilled prophecies of the Bible, including the ones that are making headlines today.)

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